Wood Chips
Can it actually, truly, really be Fall!? This week felt more like summer (well, in the northwest) and we've enjoyed these final days of warmth in the air before Lady Autumn actually presents herself.
Early in the week the children wanted to shovel some of the giant pile of wood chips we got, so that's exactly what we did! There was hill climbing, running, mulch thrown about, as well as noticing the pile was already hot with biotic activity: decomposition. Eventually a wheelbarrow or two of wood chips was moved.
Chasing games have picked up quite a bit this week and entered new levels of intrigue. I've been wondering when it would happen as it's a staple for this age group around the world. Every culture has it's chasing games and little ones just love the thrill of chasing and being chased (a sort of safe-danger, risky play, if you will). We skipped some morning meetings this week because I couldn't imagine stopping this type of play while they were so deep in it, to follow my agenda. Part of why I had to start my own school was that I wanted more freedom and flexibility to follow the whim of the child when possible, to let them BE in their special moments, learning through play, and to just stand back and zip it (more often).
When hanging out with preschoolers you can hear some curious words from time to time. One moment, a friend is a "best friend" because they're having fun and generally agreeing on things. The next minute one shouts, "you're not my best friend anymore!", or something similar, when they fight over whose turn it is with the ball. Generally what happens next is someone will run over to the teacher to tell them what happened, whether about the lack of sharing or the words that hurt. The teacher will first validate, and then encourage them to talk to their friend about what happened. Sometimes the teacher will hang back and listen from afar to the beautiful examples of kids working things out on their own. Children learn so much in these moments: "When I have a problem with a friend, I can talk to them about it and work it out", or "I have the skills to fix a problem by myself". Other times, feelings might be very, very big, and they simply don't know what to say or how to even start. These times, if a child seems unable to begin the conversation on their own, we'll offer to help, but try not to take the lead. Sometimes helping looks like creating a safe space away from others for the children to talk and hear one another. Other times helping means providing some possible ideas for helpful words to say, or even saying them for a friend who is really struggling. These moments also teach children so much: "When I have a problem I don't know how to fix, a teacher can help me find the words (or ideas) to fix it myself", or "I can trust an adult to help me when I feel overwhelmed and don't know what to do".
Honestly, these very real moments can be the simplest and sweetest moments of my day. Here's an example from Thursday:
One: "Teacher Maddi! Two isn't listening to me and keeps running away from me but I'm trying to get their attention!"--they say, quite frustrated.
TM: "That can feel so frustrating can't it?"
One: "Yes!"
TM: "I can see Two is looking over here. Do you want to call them over to talk?"
One: "Okay. TWO! Can you come talk to us?" (They come over). "I kept trying to call you and get your attention but you kept running away from me and I was trying to tell you something! That made me frustrated!"
Two: "Okay. I won't do that. Want to come chase three with me?"
One: "Okay." (And they run off laughing and smiling..while I find myself wishing that all disagreements in life, in the world, could be resolved so easily).
Not to belabor the topic but stick with me for a final moment. When a preschooler says, "you're not my friend", what they're saying is that they're very upset at that friend and, at that moment at least, they can't see how they can ever be friends again. It's all very concrete. Either I like you and we're friends, or you're a meanie and we're not. Their work in these early years is to begin to integrate positive interactions and feelings about a person with the more challenging interactions and feelings that also come up in any human relationship. They'll begin to scaffold these experiences into a more balanced perception of people and relationships. They'll remember the past, and project into the future ("When I got so mad at Sally last week, after we talked it out we were friends again. Maybe I can do that this time with Henry.") Of course, this takes time and repetition. However, we can support and nurture this development by validating their feelings to begin with. For example: "You two are good friends so you must be very upset to say that. What happened?". We can't always have the patience and presence of mind to do this perfectly but if we aim for 'most of the time', we're doing great.
And...our week ended at Duke Park on an unusually warm day! We played at the playground, which I had to peel the kids away from, and explored under the oak trees nearby. We read a book about how hard it is to wait for something, which everyone agreed was absolutely true, sang a song, searched for acorns, and climbed an old tree stump.